Reflection on writing

It's been a while since I posted and for that I apologize.  As you may have read, my grandma recently passed away and this week has consisted of planning out the funeral.  As for myself, I have been spending time thinking.  Though it may seem like all I have done is think, I actually have done a lot in regards to outlining New Life.  My boyfriend says it would be good for me to start something so I can be writing again --today I'm going to take his advice.  I'm going to begin writing the prologue to New Life, and though I've been thinking about it a lot I have an idea of how it will work out.  I'll talk about this more on the Magicians series blog, but in the mean time I would like to reflect on where my writing started and where it is now.
What inspired me to write this post was Jaclyn Dolamore's own post about how she has grown as a writer.  You can read it for yourself: here.  Now I would like the time to share with you my own experience.

The Magic of Light was my first book --also the first one that I completed.  I began writing this book at the age of 12, and at the time it seemed like nothing could stop me.  I wrote every single day, and when I finished the book I sent it out to agents and publishers.  It's been five years since I started this book, which was ultimately what inspired me to continue writing.  Even though now I have realized the problems in The Magic of Light and accepted it won't be my first book to be published, this is where the dream and the passion started.  If I hadn't gone through the journey with Trisha and Keith as they battled against their enemies I wouldn't be where I am today.  (Read it online: here)

After my first book, it was difficult to find something to get into again.  I wanted to write the sequel to The Magic of Light, which is titled Guard the Sacred, but instead I began off of a fresh idea.  I took eight new characters that were going to be in Guard the Sacred and wrote Everblue.  With this book I was eager to keep writing and figure out how everything would end, but sadly when Nanowrimo began and I worked on No Mist for two months.  Unfortunately neither books were ever finished, but if I had to chose which one to go back to it would be Everblue.  The story is interesting and the characters are likable; it just takes time and patience.

Going Back Home was another book I worked on around the time I put aside my other two books.  It was about a girl, Christine, who got lost in the forest with another teenager.  (Heard it before, right?)  

Eventually I stopped writing those books and had this new idea.  The story about a criminal living among the royal family.  Certain Fate was a book I was intrigued by for a good while.  It never reached 10k to be public on inkpop, but it wasn't because of the story that I put it to the side.  I thought of something new that I couldn't hold off any longer.

By 17 I was writing Cursed with Power during the summer.  Here I am a year later and all in all it hasn't been too bad of a year.  The rejections still come in now and then, but now that I have the Magicians series to work on at least I have a stable working system for myself.  

Enough of my rambling, right?  Hope this was somewhat interesting, even though I know what I've written over the years has bounced around a lot --so to speak.  Happy Tuesday!

Be there for the magic: www.themagiciansseries.blogspot.com

R. I. P. Julia Sablowski

The news came to us early this morning.  My grandmother, Julia, passed away.  She was 86 years old...
The death of a loved one is the most difficult part of life to deal with.  We can deny and grieve all we want, but in the end we must accept what has happened.  My grandmother was a truly wonderful women, and for that I believe it is time for someone to reflect on her.

Julia was always a very strong women.  When she got married and her husband went off to war, she stayed at home and watched over their children.  She was religious, a firm believer in God, and she knew how to manage the house whether she was alone or with helping hands.  In her free time she would walk outside and plant flowers, vegetables, fruits... anything.  She loved that garden of hers outside with the large field surrounding it.
She raised four children: Carol, Steve (John), Thomas, and Jean.  She taught them about love, about faith, about respect and duty.  When they were old enough to go out on their own they had children of their own and she became a grandmother.
Despite Julia's amazing talent for always remembering dates --birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, everything--old age one day seemed to overwhelm her and that was when Alzheimer's set in.  Unfortunately, I never saw my grandmother in her prime when she knew everything and everyone.
However, I do have a memory of when I was very young --about seven--and she and I walked through the field in her backyard.  Her cats were outside and they followed us around as I asked her about that field.  I can't remember what she said so many years ago, but what I do remember and won't forget was the smile that flickered across her face as we walked about.

Watching Grandma go was extremely difficult, but what I continue to tell myself is she's with her husband again.  They're together and looking down at all of their children and grandchildren.  At last she can finally rest.

Though she may never know it, I decided when I saw Grandma in the hospital that her spirit should live on in us today.  In my upcoming book New Life I have dedicated a character who reflects Julia.
Rest in peace, Grandma.  We shall miss you.

Be there for the magic: www.themagiciansseries.blogspot.com

Hope

There are numerous struggles we endure with each passing day.  Sometimes we ask ourselves how we will make it through them; other times we try to forget.
I remember once asking my boyfriend if he believed that God watched over us --just two ordinary teenagers with struggles, dreams, love...  I asked him once and I recall him saying, "I don't know, but I want to believe that He does."  One night I fell to sleep and I realized God does watch over us, and even though sometimes we feel worried and scared and alone we never truly are.  I'm not just talking about God here; I'm talking about the people in our lives.  You know the guy you talk to every night and tells you "I love you" before you fall to sleep.
Too many times we let worry and fright overwhelm us.  The beauty of life is we have a destiny of our own to make, people we can love and show our love to, and hope.  Hope, that one thing that never dies so long as we have something to hold onto.  So whether it's your book, your stuffed bear, or the words he tells you before you go to sleep --hold onto all of that and never let it slip away.

Be there for the magic: www.themagiciansseries.blogspot.com

Here I am, I made it

Well, it's been a while, eh?  This week I've spent a lot of time thinking, and I've come to realize something.  There is too much regret in this world.  We regret what we do, we regret what we have or haven't said, we regret the moments of life we've missed.  If you're going to regret anything, regret what you haven't done.  The past is already done and you can't change it, but the present we can still make the best of.  I say this to my writing friends out there and to everyone else in general.  Let down your worries, make each moment in your life count, and keep on loving the people closest to you.
Besides thinking, I also spent too much time worrying about this, that, and everything in between.  And the truth of the matter is that's not going to get me or you anywhere.
At one point I threw down my pen and thought to myself, "No, I've had enough."  For an entire day I refused to get anywhere near my writing, and inside it was killing me, tearing me apart, eating at me.  The next day, though, I woke up and the sun was beaming in my window and I thought, "You know what, it's time to get back to what I can do."  Life is difficult, writing can be a world of madness sometimes, and if you put the two together it can be overwhelming more than we would like for it to be.
Every day when I feel like it's been too much or I'm too worried about the other troubles in life to carry on, I look around at the people who support me.  My family, my friends, and even people I do not personally know.  I look at them and remember they've been here for me this long; it's not going to end abruptly.

You do not need to change yourself to make it through each day.  You do not need to throw away every dream because you get scared.  Stay strong, hold onto the person you love, and keep working toward the passion you have.
Here we all are.
We've made it.

Be there for the magic: www.themagiciansseries.blogspot.com

The Act of Writing

I admit there are times when I don't know what to do.  As a writer, I experience this problem various times in the day.  When I look at everything I've done, read over what I've written, and look back at where I started it's difficult to determine how to react.  Shouldn't I just be glad I am moving along, getting further?  A part of me is.  A part of me is jumping for joy, amazed with where I've gotten and wants to keep going.  Another part of me, however, is the one that tries to get at me. I am not normally a person with low self-esteem, but when I'm writing it is very easy for me to feel differently about what I've accomplished.  That's not to say I'm unsatisfied with my writing and so forth, but I believe these are just the early stages I am going to experience as I continue waiting.
Patience is something I've always wanted to have, but in many cases I think I convince myself out of it.  In writing I have no real choice.  I have to be patient.  And sure, you're thinking to yourself that really nothing is forcing you to keep your patience.  After six years, I've learned patience is the key to it all.
When I feel disappointed in myself, there is something I remember that kicks me back into gear (so to speak).  I remember that if it is not I myself telling this story, who will?  Though my characters are obviously fictional, I feel like by writing books about them I am bringing life to them and even bringing more life into the time they would have lived.

You know what I've learned?  Despite how many times I feel awful about my own writing talents, at the end of the day I'm still writing.  And because I still am that tells me that this isn't just a one time thing that I'll eventually become sick of.  Trust me, if that were the case it would have happened years ago.  This is something I am pursuing.  It's a dream, a goal, a desire, a life that I yearn to reach.
Stephen King once said that he never thought anyone would read Carrie once it was finished.  While he was teaching at a university he never imagined that thousands upon thousands of people would become intrigued by Carrie White's unusual story, and that because of that book alone he was able to quit his job as a teacher and begin a full time career as an author.
"You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair--the sense that you can never completely put on the page what’s in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page." --Stephen King, On Writing
No matter how hard the act becomes to pursue... I'm going to following Mr. King on this one, and follow after it in any way but lightly.

Be there for the magic: www.themagiciansseries.blogspot.com