Friday, May 27, 2011

Whispered Memories

I cannot recall the last time I posted something, and I apologize to anyone who keeps up with my blog.  The truth is this week has been extremely challenging for me.  Besides have some struggles with schoolwork, my beloved grandmother was placed in the ICU at the hospital and has been there since Tuesday.  As I'm sure you can understand, this has added on a lot of additional stress, emotional struggles, and so forth.  Seeing my grandmother in the hospital is something I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.  It wasn't the fact that she is in the hospital that continues to flash back into my mind, but remembering the look on her face when I stepped into the room and whispered, "Hi Grandma."
Many of you I know have also had personal experiences over the past few months that have affected you.  My grandmother is in a very fragile condition.  I haven't been on my computer until just now because the last few nights I've been exhausted.
While most of you are preparing for whatever events and whatnot you have planned for the weekend and Memorial Day, I ask you save a prayer for my grandmother if you would be so kind as to do so.  This week has probably been one of the most difficult weeks in my life, so if I'm not able to keep you updated as often as usual it's because I'm still trying to grasp everything that is happening.

On my other blog I'll try to talk about a new character for New Life, but again I'm not sure when I'll have that up with how everything has been lately.
Thank you to all of you for understanding, as you always have, and for supporting me.  It means a lot to have a community of people that support what happens in my life.

Be there for the magic:

Friday, May 13, 2011

Giving up?

There are probably one too many times where I wanted to do exactly what's happening in this picture.  Just scream like my life depends on it.  What I've realized, though, is that I don't need to.  Support isn't something that ends when I'm at home --I can just as easily come on Blogger and be amazed by how our community builds a strong relationship through what we write.
Maybe it's because I'm a writer, but for some reason it seems people are always asking me why I don't give up.  Whether it's my friends, my family, or just other random people... The major question is: Why not give up?  Well hey, it's not like I've never gone down that road before.  There have been days when I wanted to all together take everything I've written and quite literally throw it out the window.  I thought about it, and even though then I wouldn't have to deal with more rejections from agents, what would that satisfy?  I've spent a year working on Cursed with Power so far, and I spent five years (and it's still going on) on The Magic of Light. If I throw out every book and every short story I have written --no matter how well written they are or not--I'll be left with nothing.  Do I really want to say for the last five and a half years of my life I've done absolutely nothing but written stories that no one will read?  No.  I haven't given up because this is something I've been chasing after my entire life.  Before I realized I could write I came up with silly things I could do when I grew up --you know, be a princess and live in a fairy tale.
At the end of the day, writing is probably the most stressful thing we can put ourself through.  Sure, maybe no one else can understand why we do it, and maybe we've felt like we've been altogether losing our minds with the reediting and the rejections.  Truth is, this is a passion, a dream... a life.  I've read a lot of blogs here and there where people were talking about what happens when they don't write.  When I don't write I feel like there's something missing.  Not just missing in my life, but missing in my soul.  Does that make sense?  I'm not sure, but I feel connected to the work I do and I'm not ashamed at the end of the day when I can look at what I've written and smile.
Someone once told me when I was writing The Magic of Light that I should give up.  I was told that the story just wasn't good enough, and that after everything I went through it was time I moved on.  Guess what?  That book wasn't an ex-boyfriend --I didn't need to move on.  I have that book saved, safe and sound so that someday in the future when I do get published, I can return to it and fix it to be better.
You shouldn't live life with regrets.  If I hadn't started my writing career at 12, I might not have ever known what it was like to bring characters alive.  And if I hadn't, where would I be now?  Of course rejections bother me, and staring at the same chapter for an hour isn't exactly exciting.  However, I cannot think of any other dream I rather be chasing after. 
Besides, what about the characters in our books?  I posted about this earlier, but when I think about how Celestria had to battle for her life and Alaire nearly died because of a fight he was involved in... I can deal with the rejections.  
Giving up isn't an option :)  

Read the first book in the Magicians series:

Cursed with Power
Pain, love heartbreak...
Violence, screaming, blood...
His eyes rolled back into his head.  I had done this.
Read the book here: link

Be there for the magic: