New query coming soon!

After getting some critique on my query it's obvious that it needs some adjustments.  Thus I'll be working out new additions to it for now and hopefully soon I will post up the new one so you guys can again critique it.  Thanks to everybody out there who is so willing to help!

And I also have another favor to ask of you...
If you have any free time I am asking simply that you read the first chapter (second chapter on IP) of Cursed with Power and tell me if I still need to add in more about Dyanna.  As my readers have pleaded with me they feel there needs to be more of her in the first chapter, but alas I cannot tell from my own opinion if I have yet added in enough or still have a ways to go.
The "first" chapter on IP is the prologue, which is only a page long, so reading that and the real first chapter would not take up much of your time.  
If you should do this I ask you leave your feedback with your opinion on the comments page of IP (if you're a member) or you leave a comment on my blog.
Read it here.